President Obama's Purple-Roofed Ethical Suicide Parlors

The Masked Intellectual has just finished reading HR3200, the Orwellian-titled “America’s Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009,” the House of Representatives bill that is the first stage in the Obama Administration’s takeover of the health care industry.

My general impression of the bill is that it is essentially a suicide pact with the American people, a document with sinister implications overlaid with innocuous phrases, mind-numbing legalese, and seemingly lofty sentiments. Given President Obama's disdain for fetuses--I think he is the only American politician who would vote in favor of abortion three trimesters after birth--and utilitarian view of human life, i.e., your life only has worth to the extent of your ability to pay taxes, the future under Obamacare doesn't bode well for anyone under 18 or collecting social security.

The tenor of HR3200 reminded me of Kurt Vonnegut’s famous short story “Welcome to the Monkey House.” In this story, set in a future dystopian America, the government runs virtually everything and controls costs by promoting the use of “ethical suicide parlors”:

"There was a Howard Johnson's next door to every Ethical Suicide Parlor, and vice versa. The Howard Johnson's had an orange roof and the Suicide Parlor had a purple roof, but they were both the Government. Practically everything was the Government... All Hostesses were virgins. They also had to hold advanced degrees in psychology and nursing. They also had to be plump and rosy, and at least six feet tall...Their uniforms were white lipstick, heavy eye makeup, purple body stockings with nothing underneath, and black-leather boots... In a really good week, say the one before Christmas, they might put sixty people to sleep. It was done with a hypodermic syringe."

If Obamacare passes, don't be too surprised to see those purple-roofed buildings start popping up next to hospitals and medical centers. Who knows, perhaps the Obama Administration will combine "End of Life Counseling" with the "Cash for Clunkers" program and will offer families $4500 for taking Grandma in to be processed at the Soylent Green factory. After all, they're big on recycling and being green.